we recently had a school dance and everyone was happy ..
though later on that night those emotions changed...
later on that night my boyfriend left me..
though i shouldn't be too upset i feel as if i'm living a nightmare....
last night i couldn't sleep very long and i woke up feeling like i was going to throw up...
i guess i overreacted but it was almost the EXACT same pain i felt when my grandpa passed.
though it may not have been my fault i feel like a complete retard...
IDK if i did anything wrong so i spend my time asking myself what i did.
though i shouldn't say so i FUCKING hate myself at the moment.
many people can say that i could do better but if i COULD do better than why did he leave me...
was it stress from school?
was i annoying?
did i worry about our relationship too much?
It kills me inside to not know the reason... WHY
i've had depressing moments in my life before but this has got to rank up in the top 3 most depressing things...
so many bad things happened over the summer.....
1 he wouldn't talk to me
2 he never invited me out anywhere
3 when i invited him out he rejected
4 Michael jackson died when i was on vacation
5 when we came back from vacation our neighbor's husband died

AM I CURSED

i hate this because it never stops hurting
i knew this was coming REALLY soon... but not now..... not there....
why should i be so upset if i KNEW it was going to happen...





Though i do want to thank my friends that were there that night
i am VERY glad they were there to comfort me...
those people are


1 armantha (deviant)
2 sashalovesmcr (deviant)
3 kimmy (not a deviant)
4 Ashlee (not a deviant)
5 Baylee (not a deviant)
6 Gabe (not a deviant)


these people are the BEST